My Most Embarassing Moment

This is me. You may have noticed that in this picture, I am wearing a hat. And gloves. It was December, 2005. My sisters and I made reservations at some shee-shee hotel in Beverly Hills to surprise our mother for her 59th birthday by taking her and all of our female children (minus the two youngest) to high tea. I made Mom a card and insisted that we all don hats and gloves for this special occasion. My sisters thought this was a VERY BAD idea. They said, "we wouldn't be caught dead in vintage hats and gloves- no way- absolutely not." Mom said she would do it, as I knew she would. She is always game for adding a little theatrical spice to her experiences, but again, the big sisters said NO. So, being the defiant woman, and little sister that I am, I tucked a chice hat and pair of gloves from Mom's extensive vintage dress-up collection into my hand bag and off we went to tea. After our order was taken, I pulled my accessories out and put them on. "You are NOT wearing that!!" one of my sisters said, and yet, her amusement was evident, as it always is when she tells me that I have on a "NICE getup". I love this response so much that I often don creative "get-ups" just for her. My secret? I'm beyond mortification. I have been in more humiliating, embarassing situations than I can count. I haven't died yet, and It seems that these situations are always good for a laugh. For example, eighth grade, I forgot to zip my fly after fouth period P.E. on the day that all my respectable panties were dirty and I was forced to wear the ones with the kids bowling in hot pink graphics. As I sat innocently on the grass eating my lunch, Peter Gentry, a very cute and popular boy, stood over me and said, "nice underwear" with a sneer. Yeah, these things stay with you, obviously. Then there was the time in 11th grade when I walked very quickly down the crowded hall, between classes to the bathroom only to find a baseball sized spot of blood on the back of my white Norma Kamali skirt. I've gone down the slopes in the "bucket" after doing my impersonation of a human snow ball, sang solo and slightly off key at my sister's wedding, been seen in multitudes of creative but not necessarily fashionable "get ups", called people by the wrong name, had my slip show, have forgotten to wear a slip, had lipsick on my teeth, had my breast exposed or my skirt pulled down by a tantruming toddler, I have even called attention to my, large, wide ass by dancing to the song I Like Big Butts for out family talent show,and much much more. I am immune to embarassment. I actually LIKE the spice it gives to my life and others' by taking the seriousness out and putting humility and humor in. So, next time you have an embarassing moment or have the opportunity to dress up, I would like to encourage you to stand out instead of blending in. Take the risk of embarassing yourself. It won't kill you, it will remind you that you are human and part of being truly human is making "mistakes" and feeling silly. I can assure you that during our summer vacation together, I will be donning some choice get-ups for the amusement of my sisters, mother, nieces and nephews, brothers in law, step father, my children and husband. If it sparkles, shines or has feathers, I'm wearing it.