Sunday, May 27, 2007

Achieving The Marvelous

To Achieve the MARVELOUS, it is precisely the UNTHINKABLE that must be thought. -Tom Robbins

Being FULL of crazy ideas myself, I think, "I am destined to achieve the marvelous- because there's seemingly NO END to the "unthinkable" in me." I have become creative in a kind of crazy way. Ever since the structure of my career was taken from me (as a pharmaceutical sales representative, due to a realignment lay off) and I was thrust into the world of stay at home motherhood in a town where all things are possible, I have been coming up with and implementing crazy ideas for my success. I have developed two on-line stores that showcase my love for helping others -via my creations of therapeutic gemstone belly chains and jewelry. When those sites didn't explode with business, my idle mind began concocting yet another the suggestion of one of my best friends, Lara, I created a collection of thirty cards in the size of a business card, incorporating my photographs and thought provoking and inspiring words from wise people. I call them "Presents of the Present". I invested real money to have them printed. So far, I can only give them away. Do you think I am thwarted in my achievement of the marvelous? NEVER! I often think about J.K. Rowling and her die-hard attempts to get the first Harry Potter book published. I believe she received over 100 rejections of that manuscript, which she unthinkably, NEVER GAVE UP ON. She never gave up. Even with all the doubt that comes from rejection, she never gave up. She is my inspiration. I will never give up on my achievement of the marvelous, because the only thing I will truly allow myself to doubt are my limits. This goes for you too.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Song For My Mother

This poem was written by MY mother, Kathryne Neches for her mother, Beatrice Edell Richardson Campbell.

I publish it here in honor of them, and my two older sisters, my BELOVED heroes.


Song For My Mother


when I judged you, I didn’t know you Not your struggles, not your pain. Not your triumphs. When I judged you I was ignorant.

A selfish, spoiled child, though I was seemingly mature. Though I knew better. Though I pretended not to judge.I was arrogant, entitled and short sighted. And I did judge you. You knew I did, though you may not have known my own day of being judged would come, or how soon. I judged you living. Each one of your everyday struggles. How long it took you to put on your make-up, to eat your breakfast, and how you embellished a story. I judged you.

The way you always had to be dressed - up, with earrings and a proper bag and shoes. The way you set the table with a cloth and pretty napkins. The way you took care of my father. Insisting he have three hot meals each day. I judged you. The way you fought with your hair, trying to erase the curl. The way you fought to be tanned a golden bronze instead of fair and freckled . The ways you thought a lady, a young lady should speak and act. I judged you. I thought you foolish. I thought you frivolous and old-fashioned. I thought you different from myself. And I sat idly, to smugly judge you. I judged you dying. From the early years when the drink took you. When you smoked and coughed and smoked some more. When you snacked on sausages and canned tamales. When candy bars and coffee were your fare. I judged you. When the hospital became your rest-stop. When rehab became your maintenance. When you never found a power greater than yourself, I judged you. When you said, over and over and over again, “I never wanted to be a burden to my kids.” I judged you and called you “liar!” When you had to live in your own town and not near mine. When oxygen became your elixir, and still you smoked, I judged you. When in the last hours of your life, you drew my sister, drunk herself to your bedside and waved me away, the daughter who had dealt with the daily difficulties of keeping you alive, I judged you heartless. I resigned. I retired. I recoiled form your coldness and thought I could simply reclaim my own life. But not yet, not yet, not until I judged you one last time.I judged you dead. You who had pulled yourself up from a fatherless childhood. A childhood of abuse and poverty in every way but that of love. You were loved. Loved by a fierce Mother with a love that gave you power. Power to defy the lack of education, the lack of a father’s love, the lack of resources and all the worldly, precious gifts you gave to me. Loved by a husband of fifty years in spite of your frailty, in spite of the humanity I turned from. I judged you in death to the depths of my soul. Then one day,when my own arthritic hands slowed my make-up brush. When I began to fight with my hair and wrinkles. When I saw myself change my clothes six times just to go to the store. When my stories barely resembled the truth. When my own daughters sighed in exasperation, rolling their eyes. When I remembered who it was that led me out of the alleys of alcoholism into the the sunlight of sobriety, I judged you again. When I set the table and pour milk from a picture and not the carton. When every meal must be served at a table fit for kings. When Christmas and birthdays all seem magical, because of you, because of your example, because you carved the way with the blade of your own believing. Believing in me. Believing in us. Believing a beautiful, rich abundant life should be my heritage. I judged you. I wept. I cracked open the cold heart of an ignorant child and called you my hero. My angel. My eskimo. My teacher. For three years following your death I cried and cried and cried rivers of rushing tears. Tears to wash away every harsh, harrowing hint of the hell you lived and died for. Your tears. The tears you never cried. My tears. Tears of regret. Tears of understanding. Tears of compassion and forgiveness. You came to me in a dream on the anniversary of your death.You wore the dress you were meant to be wearing to the great beyond and not the dress we put you in. You held up a greeting card that set me free. Free of a lifetime of judgment. Free of my own imperfection. Free to release my own daughters. The card said simply, “I love you and you love me!” and I put the judgment down.


Kathryne Neches 2007

Song For My Mother

post script

if you are not crying,

there is something wrong with you.


Shelley Meaney 2007

post script

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Letting Death be a Reminder to LIVE

A good friend of mine wrote me last week to tell me that her husband's best friend had died suddenly- doing something he loved- (probably of an aneurysm, during a spin class, if you must know). His name was Tim.

Here are my thoughts on Tim and on lifetimes,

We are blessed/cursed with never knowing how long it will be, this precious opportunity to be "in body". It's funny, the way we pretend that it's never going to happen, mourn a death, die a little ourselves when someone we love leaves us. BUT, as living organisms, it is the only inevitable we have. It is the one thing that we can safely predict, that all living things will reach an end to their lifetime and then they will nurture with their physical remains, or the impact they had on others, new or continued life.
Having kids means facing your fears about death. I talk to my kids about it- enough that it is a constant open dialogue- so they won't be afraid of it. I say- everything that is living will eventually die- everything and everybody has a life span. We do not know how long our life will be, because some things are just meant to remain a mystery. Embedded in the message is the feeling that every day that we are alive should be a cherished gift and an opportunity to celebrate. When we do go, we will feel like we devoured life, appreciating every breath, every caress, every kiss, every sweet-smelling flower, every violet sunset, every golden sunrise- we will have lost sleep to witness meteor showers, soothing sick children, dancing and drinking too much, taking trans oceanic flights to reach distant shores and new experiences. We will have experienced the rush of adrenaline from our first time driving fast, climbing high, sailing in a gale force and, of course, pushing ourselves in at least one amazing spin class.

We will have loved every second of this life, wasting little time. When our friends leave us, they are giving us the GREATEST GIFT- that is, to remind us of the opportunities we have been blessed with by being born human.

IN CELEBRATION OF TIM- I say- Good job in having a GREAT LIFE and in sharing your gifts with so many that you will nurture their soil in order for them to bloom another day.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

My Terra Celeste Mission Statement

I love jewelry. I am a girly girl. I love the symbolism that a piece of jewelry carries with it. Like a wedding ring or a gold bracelet for graduation. I began making jewelry five or six years ago. My favorite materials have come to be gemstones, which are any naturally occurring crystalline or metamorphic rock that carry a unique vibrational signature. Gemstone properties are very interesting, and as it turns out, seem to have been made for us, to affect us. This is how I use them. The jewelry I create is beautiful, striking to wear, and will attract attention and admiration, but, has been created to serve a far more important purpose. Each piece is infused with the energy of the earth. The earth, as it turns out, is like a huge, natural pharmacy, open 24 hours. By finding yourself attracted to a piece, you are in a sense, prescribing your own stone therapy. I can also do this for you if you give me information. Gemstones are effective for the treatment of physical, emotional, spiritual, psychic, auric, chakral, and past-life ailments. They also provide the guidance, nurturing, filtering and love that you cannot get from an average pharmacy. With your jewelry purchase, I will include the properties of the gemstones and I will possibly give your piece a name that sums up the action it will provide. You will be drawn to certain pieces on any given day and will be, in effect, treating yourself, as needed. I love what I do. It gives me great pleasure to be able to connect with you and provide hope, healing, nurturing and solace from any given distance.Welcome to Terra Celeste. I look forward to working for you.