Saturday, March 12, 2011

Love Me

I want you to love me not because I need your love, but because I want you to feel that uncontrolled, unabashed love for someone, pouring from you so that it spills everywhere you look, touching everyone you encounter; the sky, the wild grasses growing in the vacant lot, the mother sitting at the bus stop with her child in her lap.

 I want you to love me, not for me but for you. The feeling of love for another (being) is much more powerful than the receiving of love. I know it. I have felt it so many times.

 I feel it for my children, my parents, my husband, you. I feel it on the playground, in the classroom, when I look at the ocean and see a seal swimming cautiously towards me, nostrils flaring open and closed. I feel it when I look up at the sky at 5am and the stars shine brilliantly , sometimes shooting or winking in waves of love returned.  I feel it when you make jokes , when you drip the milk out of your mouth, when you draw. I am in love with you, with all of you; rocks, soil, air, trees; kids, playgrounds, compost bins and classrooms, paintbrushes, pin backs, purring sounds and fur.

Love me, so you can gush like I do, wanting to give and give and give with no desire to recover "losses", for the love is payment with interest, and I am RICH beyond measure.

Yesterday, as I was driving out of my neighborhood, I approached a kid on a bike. As I got ahead of him, I saw that it was Christian, a sixth grader at Hope, where I work three days a week as a noon aide. At the beginning of the year, Christian had a chip on his shoulder. He would depart the lunch tables without being excused, leaving pieces of tinfoil and plastic in his wake. He would do it over and over again. He is not the only one.  Recently, Christian was throwing a football with his friend Issac on the blacktop after lunch. I approached Issac, asked for the ball and threw it to Cristian. My spiral was a wobble. I caught Cristian's perfect pass then asked Isaac if I could make one more throw. Still wobbly. Christian started calling me "bad thrower" when I would greet his table at lunch. He lives in my neighborhood and last week he and another sixth grade boy, Daniel, asked if they could play basketball in our driveway. I said yes, as long as they protect my garden, which is nearby.  Daniel, who was very shy last year with me, rarely making eye contact, now goes out of his way to say,"hi Shelley." he adds regularly, "you are a good neighbor."

As I waved at Christian from the driver's seat of my car, as I do to all the kids I know by name from Hope School, my heat gushes with love for him (and them). I got this flash that I want the same for them, to feel that gushing of love, that just makes you love everyone and everything.  I asked myself, "do I throw the football, kick the soccer ball, shoot hoops, paint with water colors, make and pass out pins at school because I want them to like me? No. The answer came. I want them to LOVE me. NOT FOR ME, but FOR THEM.

Tuesday, March 08, 2011


I love presents. I love the way they come wrapped so you don't even know the extent of the gift until you carefully (or voraciously) remove the ribbon and paper, open the box which is full of possibility. I especially love surprise gifts like the one I received last week from Kate and Cortis Loukes who asked if I knew anyone who could help them create blessing candles for their upcoming baby shower to give as gifts to their loved ones.  The joy in my heart swelled as I knew how much I wanted to make these candles. The gift was evident right then. I held it in my hands, but it was still wrapped and pretty much a secret to me.

I thought about the gemstone infusion. I only had enough of one particular stone, black tourmaline. The candle is to be lit when Kate enters labor and to help her loved ones hold vigil both for her and their baby as he passes safely from his warm womb to the physical world. Here is how black tourmaline is the perfect stone for this.

Black tourmaline grounds energy and increases physical vitality, dispensing tension and stress. It encourages a positive attitude no matter what the circumstances. In healing, it draws off negative energy, defending against disease, strengthening the immune system, providing pain relief. Protects against electromagnetic smog and negative energies of all kinds.- Judy Hall, The Crystal Bible.

I had purchased 50 pounds of soy wax and new bottles of essential oils a couple of weeks back. On Sunday, I went to OSH and purchased the 4 oz jars I would use to make the candles and the small match boxes for the matches.

you have to heat the jars first.

The wicks are in place

pure soy wax. When it is molten, liquid or just soft, it makes an excellent moisturizer, especially when it is infused with therapeutic grade essential oils.

I chose lemongrass for joy

bergamot for lust-for-life vitality

and lavender for healing and soothing. It's like the maternal oil because it's greatest desire is to soothe and comfort. It heals, protects, disinfects, helps regenerate, helps with insomnia, stress... you get the picture.

I made Kate and Cortis their own special candle. This is my invitation to their baby Boy to come into this world with all of his potential and power intact. I infused the candle with a dual-terminated Tibetan crystal quartz for ancient wisdom and overall energetic healing, citrine for joy and vitality, aquamarine for love of the water, black tourmaline for grounding and connection to all the other blessing candles, carnelian for creativity and a lust for life, and labradorite for complete protection. 

It was a blissful experience for me to make these candles but especially this one.

I added the oils, gemstones and wax

I made exactly 50 candles.

after the wax cooled, I trimmed the wicks.

While the candles were cooling I created the label.

Serendipitiously, Jill had painted this whale but after taking this picture of it, continued painting over it, and in her eyes, ruined it. I asked her if I could use her painting in my work. She said, "thank you for saving him". It was perfect.

I am creating a new website and identity for myself. It's called Terra Celeste Productions,, which debuts on these candles. This site will allow me to create in any realm, posting for sale any passion that evolves in me from here on out. So far it will have gemstone jewelry, candles, chakra salt scrubs, my books, cards and the books I am publishing for other authors (the first two are my daughter Kieran's books). This site will be up by the next full moon (April 18).

The next step in candle making is the match boxes.
First I create labels. Kate asked me to put a blessing on them. It is one she says to her baby every day and to the kids she works with. It is beautiful.

"May the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you and the pure light within you guide your way on."

It did all of this for me. 

Painting the match box edges.

This project was a gift from start to finish. I still need to make the cards that go with them, printing the blessing again, but this job is pretty much done.

I was in pure bliss the entire time I worked. Is that possible? Blissful work? I want this.

Thank you Kate.
Thank you Cortis.
Thank you Baby. 
Thank you Jill.

Love, Shelley

P.S. Blessing candles will now be available on my site for purchase. I can and will make them for any meaningful occasion.