Friday, April 06, 2007

Presents of the Present

It's funny. Sometimes the gift is something you didn't want. It is something you didn't ask for.

I wrote this great blog this morning about seizing the day, living in the now and really appreciating this day- the only moment you really have- right now. I wrote all this stuff about not projecting your fear or anticipatory judgement on what your day hands you. Every moment of every day is a gift and some of those gifts come completely out of the blue and some are gifts you have asked for and worked towards. I said that you shouldn't shy away from the surprises. Don't think that you know what the box contains or weather or not you are going to love it once you try it on. I said all this stuff and then the whole essay got lost. I realized the essay was for me. The gift was mine. I know this because minutes after my essay was erased I received a call that could lead me to a new career. I was excited but began to feel scared with the anticipation of how this new development would impact my life. I was doing exactly what I advised my readers to avoid. The message was for me. The gift was for me. I am so grateful for the presents of my present even when they scare me or annoy me. I love it all in all my imperfection- able to cheer on others but left sometimes doubting myself. Life is funny. I can do nothing but chuckle.

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