Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Memoirs of a (I try not be wicked) Stepmother
I really do try not to be wicked, but sometimes, it seems to be inevitable. I have been a stepmother for almost ten years, surviving the teen years of one daughter, now in college, and existing as the wicked one to another in high school. The oldest, now nineteen, was my sparring partner from very early on. I have never been much of a fighter but this curly haired fire ball seemed to always bring a fight out of me. We have had some really good ones, screaming, crying, the inevitable ripple effect to the real parents catching on to the brawl and the predictable apology. Always the apology. I am really good at that part- I am always willing to say, "I'm sorry" and acknowledge my hurtful actions. Maybe this is the way I have lasted this long in this role. I realized this Thanksgiving what the gift of this relationship is. I am by nature, passive most of the time. I am reasonable and neutral and can take criticism without lashing out. I am good at not fighting. The only person with whom I have fought with on a somewhat regular basis is, my beloved stepdaughter. You might now be thinking what a wicked witch - fighting with a child! I would tend to agree with you. The gift has been so revealed. Fighting is human and since childhood, I haven't done enough of it. Now that I am aware of this, I am secretly hoping that the urge to argue will subside and instead, I will be supplanted with a knowing smile and a silent giggle. Now that I know why, there is no reason to continue with this low level of human behavior. Besides, my partner is intelligent and gaining confidence and it just makes me look bad. I may be wicked, yes, but at least I am honest and as I've mentioned before, I am imperfect but fully human.