Stephanie and Ted left today. I know their being here in Santa Barbara was only temporary but I have grown fond of our daily workout antics, our texting and just being together again. We have always been close and it hurts to have her leave. I just have to have a good cry, admit that it hurts, feel it till it's better and make my reservations for a quick trip to Mobile, Alabama.
Feeling the "dark feelings" is something I am trying to do more of. When they are here, I'm gonna feel 'em. No more hiding the depression in the cupboard, tucking the bitchiness away in the back of the fridge. No more burying the sadness under the bedclothes. I'm wearing them out. Tears to the grocery store, runny nose in the kitchen, bad mood to the morning workout. I am going to show up real. Starting now. I miss Steph. I Am SO happy Stacy is coming but she is not here yet and so there is no distracting me from my sadness. Ouch. It HURTS.
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