Sunday, May 07, 2006

I'm Not Perfect

I haven't cried this much in six months, since the last time I stretched out of my comfort zone, ready to grow. Yesterday, self doubt made me vulnerable. What I do with gemstones is risky. I make a promise. I take a leap. It's hard to prove. I imply that I have power, that we all do. I go out on a limb. Sometimes I question myself. Can I REALLY do this? Am I qualified? Can people really trust me? The loudest voice inside of me says YES!!!! That voice says, " you are a spiritual being on a human journey. You are not meant to be perfect all the time. Sometimes you will be wrong, you will make mistakes, you will say, "I'm sorry". But what you are doing, is from your heart. It is not forced, it flows. You come from love and you feel love when you work. You infuse your love into every piece you make. There is nothing but good in this." So, intuitively, I know that I am capable, trustworthy and engaging in my life's work. So, what made me cry so hard yesterday is that someone I respect, who has been working with stones longer than I have, held up a mirror to me and questioned my process and my use of gemstones for therapeutic purposes. The small amount of self doubt in me, that will probably always lurk in every healthy practitioner, showed itself and hit a nerve, causing a flood of tears. If I were counseling someone in the exact situation, I would tell them, "Keep going. It's O.K. to risk making mistakes, this is how you learn things. Keep trusting your gut, your intuition. When people question your abilities, thank them and listen. Good leaders are not gods. Those who never admit their mistakes or their shortcomings are not true leaders or practitioners (remeber Hitler, and countless others who became dangerous and deadly in their arrogant ignorance)." And because I can be gentle and nurturing with others, I am also gentle and nurturing to myself and I will take this good advice. This, and I have received feedback from too many people that my work is valuable and helpful that I can not ignore.

This belly chain was created for my sister, Stephanie, who has always been psychic but sometimes questions her messages and her abilities. This piece was created to strengthen her gifts, and protect her while she works. Steph, take my advice that I gave to myself. It is good advice.

No comments: